From the Hospital Hallways to the Shave Chair for Cancer Research and Behind the Camera with St. Baldrick's Foundation

My connection to the St. Baldrick’s Foundation began long before I ever shaved my head or photographed one of its events.

I first learned about the organization while working as a Child Life Specialist in pediatric hematology-oncology at a children’s hospital in Queens, New York. An integral part of the multidisciplinary team, alongside Dr. Lipton, one of the foundation's board of directors who, "spearheaded the creation of the St. Baldrick's Foundation program to fund childhood cancer research, ensuring that its grant categories are the most effective way to accomplish our mission."

As a Child Life Specialist, my role was to help children and families cope with hospitalization, medical procedures, treatment, and the fear and uncertainty that often accompanied them.

Working so closely with children being treated for cancer gave me a firsthand understanding of why childhood cancer research matters. Behind every diagnosis was still a child who wanted to play, laugh, create, and simply be a kid. St. Baldrick’s mission is to raise money for childhood cancer research through volunteer-led head-shaving events.

Years later, while living in Colorado, I decided to become a St. Baldrick’s shavee myself. I raised more than $5,000 before sitting in the shave chair, but the experience became about far more than reaching a fundraising goal. My father flew from New York City to Colorado so he could be the person who shaved my head at the event!

There was something incredibly vulnerable about sitting in front of a crowd and watching my hair fall to the floor. For me, losing it was temporary and voluntary. For many children undergoing cancer treatment, it is neither.

Having my father standing behind me with the clippers made that moment even more meaningful. It became a memory of trust, love, solidarity, and our shared desire to support children and families facing childhood cancer treatment.

From this shave event, an image of myself and a little friend of mine going through treatment for cancer was used on all the 2010 venue thank you plaques. I remember being told about 900 were printed. For years after I'd have random friends across several different states contact me asking if it was me in the plaque they'd seen at the bar they were at. Below was from my brother who lived in NYC at the time. He was at a random bar a couple of years after my shave in Colorado and after a few minutes realized he was looking at his sister!

I, however, have never found myself in the wild.

But I do still continue to look.

I did not know it at the time, but sitting in that chair would eventually lead me back to St. Baldrick’s in a completely different role. This time, behind the camera.

I began photographing St. Baldrick’s shaving events, documenting the nervous laughter before the clippers started, the hair falling to the floor, the emotional reactions, and the pride on people’s faces when they saw their newly shaved heads. Every person who sat in the chair had a reason. Some shaved in honor of a child they loved. Others shaved in memory of someone they had lost. My goal was to capture more than the transformation. I wanted the photographs to show the courage, emotion, community, and purpose behind it.

My involvement later grew into an opportunity I never could have imagined when I first learned about St. Baldrick’s in Queens. The foundation selected me to photograph its Ambassadors for the following year and flew me around the country to meet and photograph the children and their families. Those sessions were about far more than creating beautiful portraits. The Ambassadors helped represent the thousands of children affected by childhood cancer, but cancer was never the entirety of who they were. They were funny, creative, adventurous, shy, energetic, thoughtful, and deeply loved children. They had favorite activities, distinctive personalities, and dreams for their futures. My responsibility was to help people see the child beyond the diagnosis.

Photography can make an enormous issue feel personal. As seen in the printed marketing material of St. Baldricks that year. Statistics can explain how many children are diagnosed or how much research funding is needed. A photograph allows someone to look into one child’s face and understand exactly who that research is for.

My hair eventually grew back. The photographs remain as do the stories of the children, their families, volunteers, and researchers connected by the hope that every child diagnosed with cancer will have the opportunity to grow up. My journey with St. Baldrick’s came full circle in a way I never expected. More recently, when my teenager was in 6th grade, they supported one of their teachers who had been shaving his head for years and years raising money for the foundation. Each year the student who donated the most money for his shave, got to design the cut. My child won. You can see more of the crazy hair design here on the St. Baldrick's Foundation Facebook post.

Then following year my child joined me in photographing the local event in Raleigh, NC.

Truly a full circle.

Coming up later this month, I'll have the honor of photographing for St. Baldrick's again!